general ramblings...

Well it has begun, and i'm here. Here, being Abergavenny :)

Training was the DREAM. Not gonna lie. Haha...i've met some people who I'm sure i'll know for the rest of my life. They are seriously awesome, and made the whole experience even better. But aside from all the joking and banter, and getting into trouble for noise levels..there was some quality teaching.

One of the main things that stood out to me was about being made in the image of Jesus. I always thought being fully human, was a negative. Like being fully sinful...and in some ways now when I say it, it seems so stupid and obvious. Because in all honesty, being fully human is what we should be aiming for. To be fully what God intended us to be. Completely his child...the way Jesus was. Wow..thats crazy. I had it so skewed in my head. We are all absolutely unique...yet we are made in the image of Jesus. How amazing.

I was also thinking about Church, and what it means to me. We seem to have a lot of choice in our lives. We can have pretty much what we want, whenever we want it. And we seem to apply that to our Christian lives too. We attend a Church, and sometimes, if its not doing exactly what we want or 'need' we stop going, or look elsewhere. If something doesn't instantly deliver what we want, we opt out. This is not to say that we should attend churches where we are deeply unhappy...but rather we need to asses whether the things we dislike in a church are big things, or things that we are just picking on...if that makes sense.

Jesus' prayer in the garden..the night before his crucifixion can kind of tell us about this. He says...'not my will, but yours'..Obviously he was not keen on the whole idea of being sent to die..but he loved his Father enough to do it. He did it for us. Now that is amazing love. So rather than what he can get...he concentrates on what he can give...to his Father...to us.

In some ways, what i'm trying to say is that we could maybe apply thi love to our church fellowships. I'm not suggesting tht we should martyr ourselves or anything, that won't be necessary in this country! But that we think about what we can GIVE...rather than thinking about what we are getting from it. Obviously if it is impacting our spiritual journey, then yes, we need to make a change. But in all honesty, you can't influence anything for the better unless you are involved in some way or have opportunity for impact.

God has given to us so that we may become joyful givers...he gives us his love...we need to pass it on!

And so it begins...

Well its all about to start. As of Tuesday I am going to be a part of the Salvation Army's Essential 1 programme. And in all honesty, i'm petrified! Im completely excited...but at the same time, could not be feeling less comfortable about some things. But in all hoensty thats what I wanted. To be taken out of my comfort zone.

The last few weeks have been pretty tough. Loads of things have happened that i really did not see coming. Some of them absolutely rubbish...but others, truly awesome. I didn't think i'd be able to get the money together for Essential, but yet again God proved to me that if I trust him, he provides. People from the Corps in Inverness have been amazingly generous, and in all honesty I definitely don't deserve that generosity. Their actions have humbled me completely, and showed me just exactly how much things can be turned around and changed if they are in Gods hands completely. So in the most genuine way, I am so thankful to everyone.

My family is going through a bit of a tough time at the moment, but im completely sure that God has it under his control.

But yet again i feel like im leaving it all behind. Leaving people I love again and again! I know that Inverness isn't where I should be...but it seems to get harder everytime I leave. But it will come right in the end.

So anyway, i'm gonna leave it at that...stop rambling. But i will be back...as usual!

Let MY words be few..

You are God in heaven
And here am I on earth
So I'll let my words be few
Jesus, I am so in love with You

And I'll stand in awe of You, Jesus
Yes, I'll stand in awe of You
And I'll let my words be few
Jesus, I am so in love with You

The simplest of all love songs
I want to bring to You
So I'll let my words be few
Jesus, I am so in love with You


This song has been going round and round my head for weeks now. And I am pretty sure the meaning is clear. Stop talking about doing things....just flippin well do them. About time...eh?

So i'm not gonna say anymore....for now!! But i will be back to talking about anything and everything VERY soon!

Them bones, them bones, them DRY bones...emm..i think NOT!

Well well well....its been a crazy few months, and i don't think it's about to get any less crazy! But here goes.

I am finished Uni, and as of next wednesday, I will be a full-on Graduate of Cardiff University. I have never in my life been more chuffed. I feel ready to take on new challenges, and although it scares me completely...it's also the most exciting thing i've ever done in my very sheltered life.
This next year is me trying to take myself out of my comfort zone...to push the boundaries of my faith, and hopefully to put what i believe into some sort of action.
I've always wondered about Christianity. Is it enough to just believe in something? Well i've come to the conclusion that no, its not enough. I was reading something the other day that really prompted my thinking. It said that simply believeing that something is real isn't the end...its our conviction, and passion that makes it useful and worthwhile.
So is my Christian life fulfilling that? Well...No.
So what am I gonna do about it?
It brings me again to the passage in Joshua, where God is telling him to be courageous. He reminds Joshua that whatever happens he will be with him, and won't ever leave him or forget him.

So...sorted. Yes? No? hmmm ok.

Something has been going round and round in my head for a good wee while now...and its started to really irritate me. A couple of months ago, someone said without thinking that they felt we were part of a dying, almost dead Church. Now, anyone who knows me will know that it hurt me like a physical pain to hear those words. The person went on to explain that they felt the Salvation Army was the 'dry bones' that are talked of in Ezekiel. To be totally honest I couldn't disagree more. Yes, thats how any church could end up, but there is no reason it has to be that way!
We are a living, breathing expression of God's love, and we need to remember that!
One thing that has really struck me over the past year, is that we try to put things in boxes, and keep them neat and tidy. We try to keep our faith and God in a neat little box, but in all honesty...God isn't like that. He doesn't fir into a box...in fact, he's so massive...he's bigger than anything we can even imagine. We need to keep going, keep looking for more, and searching for more in God's word. It's not over. We are not reformed people, rather we are constantly reforming, or we should be anyway. Times change...but God doesn't. As Captain James has been saying for the past few weeks we. as Christians should learn and develop as the world goes on around us. Contrary to how it can sometimes feel, Christianity is a living, breathing relationship that needs nourishment. There has to be a distinct difference between 'reformed' and 'reforming'. Revisiting and reworking what has gone before is not a negative thing. Often we're scared to change things in our Church in fear that it won't be in keeping with 'tradition'. But we shouldn't be scared of these changes....because in some ways they are purely cosmetic. Music, technology, and all that stuff...its all important..in its way. But what about our actual theology. Our core beliefs about God. Its important to look at how we define and live out our faith.
I don't know about you, but i really love the idea of a revival. But in all honesty we shouldn't need to be revived. We are alive...definitely not dry bones.
Let's stop trying to force Christianity into a box, and let it expand the way it needs to.

is it a 'Revelation'?

Well...I am one of those people who finds a song in everything, and although I love it most of the time, sometimes it annoys other people! Anyway, in 'Apocalypse Now!' lectures, I seemed to be singing a lot, and I realised that heaps of modern Christian songs have bits of Revelation in them. It became a bit of a thing with me and Collette, and now we find it everywhere! Its very interesting...

Firstly, the Nik and Emma Pears song 'Come, Lord Jesus'..

“Your young men will see visions Lord
And old men they will dream Your dreams
Show wonders in the heavens
And signs upon the earth
We sing Maranatha
Come Lord Jesus come

There’s a time coming Lord
A time when you will return
The Spirit and the Bride say Come
And we sing Maranatha
Come Jesus Come”
This is obviously relating to Revelation chapter 22, which says in verses 17 – 20,

“The Spirit and the bride say, "Come!" And let him who hears say, "Come!" Whoever is thirsty, let him come; and whoever wishes, let him take the free gift of the water of life. 18I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book. And if anyone takes words away from this book of prophecy, God will take away from him his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book. He who testifies to these things says, "Yes, I am coming soon." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.”

The way the song is musically phrased, however, seems to give the words a different slant. It suggests that the spirit and the bride are saying ‘Come, Lord Jesus’ whereas in Revelation they are saying to the whosoever, ‘Come’ and drink the water of life. Although the people are saying "Come" to Jesus, its not the Spirit and the Bride, as the song suggests. The difficulty with putting scriptural references in songs is exactly this. Unless the person writing the music understands the theological implications of the words they are using, it can cause misunderstanding, and misuse of the original context. Revelation 22 is talking about the coming of Jesus, but not in the context it seems to be presented in this song.

Another song which seems to have theology from Revelation in it is ‘Holy, Holy, Holy’ written by Reginald Heber in 1826. It seems to have a developed theology of the Trinity but with its origins in Revelation.

“Holy, holy, holy! Lord God Almighty!
Early in the morning our song shall rise to Thee;
Holy, holy, holy, merciful and mighty!
God in three Persons, blessèd Trinity!

Holy, holy, holy! All the saints adore Thee,
Casting down their golden crowns around the glassy sea;
Cherubim and seraphim falling down before Thee,
Who was, and is, and evermore shall be.
Holy, holy, holy! though the darkness hide Thee,
Though the eye of sinful man Thy glory may not see;
Only Thou art holy; there is none beside Thee,
Perfect in power, in love, and purity.

Holy, holy, holy! Lord God Almighty!
All Thy works shall praise Thy Name, in earth, and sky, and sea;
Holy, holy, holy; merciful and mighty!
God in three Persons, blessèd Trinity!”

The line which says “Cherubim and seraphim falling down before Thee” points towards the Chapter in Revelation which speaks of the Lamb and the Scroll and says, “Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand.” Which speaks of all the angels and heavenly beings, falling down and worshipping the Lamb.
The final verse of the song also continues in the theme of worshipping together. “All Thy works shall praise Thy Name, in earth, and sky, and sea” also finds its origins in Revelation 5. It picks up on verse 13 of chapter 5 which says, “Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, singing.” However, the ideas expressed in this hymn regarding the Trinity could be attributed to this passage, but it is unlikely.

Another song which has blatant Revelation references in it, is:

“There's a place where the streets shine
With the glory of the Lamb.

There's a way we can go there,
We can live there beyond time,

Because of You, Because of You,
Because of Your Love,
Because of Your Blood

No more pain, no more sadness,
No more suffering, no more tears.

No more sin, no more sickness,
No injustice, no more death.

Because of You, Because of You,
Because of Your Love,
Because of Your Blood

All our sins are washed away
And we can live forever.
Now we have this hope,
Because of You.
Oh, we'll see You face to face
And we will dance together
In the city of our God,
Because of You.

There is joy ever-lasting
There is gladness, there is peace.

There is wine ever flowing,
There's a wedding, there's a feast.”

‘There's a place where the streets shine, with the glory of the Lamb.’, can also find its source in Revelation 21:23, which states “The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp.”

Later in the same verse there is a line which says, ‘No more pain no more sadness, No injustice, No more death.’ This seems to be mirroring John’s idea from Revelation 21:4, which says “he will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

The lyrics are clearly inspired by Revelation chapter 21 which speaks of the New Jerusalem. It also relates back to Isaiah 65:17 which says “Behold, I will create new heavens and a new earth. The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind.” The lyrics mirror the idea from Revelation that a new heavens and a new earth will come to pass because of the sacrifice of the Lamb. The ‘holy city’ or ‘New Jerusalem’ will come down from heaven, and the song seems to suggest the same idea. The idea of eternal life through the ’glory of the lamb’ is portrayed in the song. It also seems to contain reference to Revelation 5, which talks of the glory of the Lamb being at the right hand of the one who is on the throne.

It just seems like loads of the references to Revelation are unrealised by most people in the Church. Tt seems clear that Revelation is a scary concept to much of the church, and therefore I don't think people use it, or even realise how present it is in a load of our worship!

In our society it is hard to grasp the idea of Jewish Mysticism, and the visionary culture which John may have lived in and marry it with our very pragmatic attitude to life. At the time that Revelation emerged it would have probably been among many other pieces of the same genre, which would have made it more accessible to the early Church in that period. The fact that Revelation is used incorrectly does not help with making it more accessible to the Church today. The belief that Revelation is a premonition of the events of the last days, or ‘rapture’ leads people to the belief that Revelation is only then “directly relevant only to those people who find themselves living in the days that lead up to the end of the world.” So therefore we discount anything that it has to say, and miss the real message of hope and assurance that John was aiming to give to the Church for every generation. “Revelation seeks to provide the heavenly perspective on the earthly situation.” Although it is unclear whether John had a heavenly vision in the real sense, or whether it was a literary construct he used in order to make his point, the message remains the same. It is John seeing the earth from a visionary perspective in heaven , then returning to try to enlighten the Church as to the future freedom from the persecution they may have been facing at that time. However, Revelation is to be applied to every generation, not just the Church in the time of John.

Geekfest over...for now! :)

I feel like i'm drowning..

So...things are kind of getting difficult. I feel very swamped, and don't quite know what to do about it, or what to say!
I finished all my assignments for uni, and the deadline was on Friday. So it's kinda all over now. And i thought i'd be happy and excited, but i'm not. I'm petrified! Am i doing the right thing? Should i be doing a job that doesn't pay, when i've got all this stupid debt? Is it sensible to sign up to something that prohibits exclusive relationships?
All i seem to be doing is questioning myself, and in some ways questioning God.
We had a discipleship day yesterday in the most beautiful place ever, and it gave me some time to think. I sat in the garden with everyone else, and all i could think about was that i'm normally kind of like Peter. I jump into things with both feet normally, and wade through just winging it until i run into problems. But at the moment, i feel less and less like that. I'm cautious, and anxious and questioning, and i really don't like it. So i sat there, and thought and prayed.
I realised that I wasn't placing enough trust in God. I was relying on myself, and obviously i wasn't getting anywhere! So my aim for the next few weeks (apart from trying to pass exams) is to focus on God, and make sure i'm really listening.

Ramble over...for now :)

Me and the 'Whore'...

If you've been reading Lettie's blog, then you'll have heard how obsessed we are with Revelation. So i'm surprised its taken me this long to blog about it. Although Collette has beaten me to it, i've been thinking about Empire, and what my 'Babylon' is.
Firstly, the idea's in Revelation are not solely found there. In John 17, Jesus is telling his disciples that he wants them to be present in the world, but to also keep themselves separate from it. He talks of being seperate from the ways of the world in the same way that he was whilst on earth.
In Revelation the idea of Babylon as Empire, is hugely relevant to me in a way i'd never seen before. What is Empire? Is it America? Capitalism? Communism? War? Terrorism? Or is it simply our greed as 'rich' people in the world? So often it is assumed that Revelation is a scary book of doom, because of the imagery used, but could it be that it is simply a warning for all the generations?

In some ways, the language and visions that John uses, and has created in Revelation, are the very thing that keeps people from opening and using the book in the way that it was intended. So much of what we hear and see in relation to it is mis-interpreted and this makes people scared to read it. But then if you think about it, we've had people lecture us our whole childhoods about using foul language, and then we have this book using words like 'whore', 'whoring' and 'prostitute'! So its unsurprising that we steer clear. But, if we look back to the Old Testament, we can find similar language in Ezekiel.

But the rich pictures contained in Revelation are, for me, what makes it so fascinating. I think that John was using the art of Jewish Mysticism, to give the message to us in a new, fresh way.

But anyway, i digress.

What i wanted to talk about was the fact that empire can be anything. Materialism, is something that, as Christians, we really need to be thinking about. Do we care too much about possessions? The merchants in Revelation, who had been entwined in Empire and business, mourned over its loss. In some ways we can be like that. Moaning and whinging about whether we have certain things, or how much money we have. God continues to crush and ruin Empire...Babylonian, Roman, and on and on throughout history. Some have even suggested that the issues in the financial market at the moment are a result of God's attack on our 'Babylon'. Whether or not that is the case, our involvement in empire is something we need to consider carefully.
We need to take ou discipleship seriously, and trust in the faithfulness of God.

Revelation 18 says "Get out, my people, as fast as you can, so you don't get mixed up in her sins, so you don't get caught up in her doom..." (The Message Remix)
This is a warning, to us, and to those that have gone before. Don't get too embroiled in 'Empire', rather, be the people God desires for his kingdom. So what is my relationship with the 'whore' of 'Babylon'? At the moment, I don't know...but what I do know is that it's something I need to work on. What really matters in my life is God, ad although I wouldn't say I was necessarily materialistic, I can always try harder.
Hope that wasn't too rambly and weird!! :)

It's not what you wear...It's what you DO!

Well, well...its April (almost May) and I haven't blogged for ages. Its taken me ages to decide to blog about this, cause I know it can be such a touchy subject. I'm going to try and get my thoughts out...but by no means is this my full opinion, it is subject to change. And no offence is meant!

I want to tell you a wee story...
My Dad is a committed Christian, who was miraculously saved a wee while before I was born. Ever since then, he has attended the Army in Inverness regularly, and is a valuable member of the Corps. When I was in Inverness over the Easter break, I overheard him talking to one of the retired officers that attends the corps and she was asking him why he hadn't been in the meeting the week before. This baffled my Dad, because, to his knowledge he had been there. Then something occured to him...he hadn't worn his uniform (it was at the dry cleaners). So he said, 'Oh I was here, I was sat right behind you, I just wasn't wearing my uniform'. And she replied 'Oh that's probably why I didn't notice you then'.

To be honest, I was horrified. I don't think, for a minute that she meant it in that way at all...but still she made it sound like the fact that he hadn't worn his uniform made him fade into the background in her eyes!

Some people seem to have the attitude that, basically if you don't wear uniform, then you are invisible. You're nothing. You don't matter and have no significance whatsoever. Well, wait a flippin minute...thats plain ridiculous! Jesus came to save the whosoever...not those who are wearing the right outfit!In the past I have had major issues surrounding uniform, mainly for that specific reason. I hate the idea of seperation, and the fact that some people will treat others differently just because of the fact that they aren't wearing uniform. Don't get me wrong, not everyone is like that, and the vast majority aren't. But more people than we would like to admit, probably pass some form of judgement on others in relation to this 'issue' of uniform. I have been guilty of it in the past, and in some ways probably still am, but on the reverse side, unintentionally.
I used to hate it when people said 'Its whats on the inside that counts...' but really if we applied that to our Corps, they'd probably be happier places to be on the whole. By no means am I saying that we would be a perfect church if we stopped caring about uniform, but you know what I mean.

I think uniform in itself has a place. It makes us, as the Salvation Army, clearly visible when in a public place. It makes us stand out from the crowd...gives us unity etc...But on the other hand there is also unity in diversity.

As Christians we need to reconcile the idea's of discipleship found in the bible, with the ideas that some people have about wearing uniform etc...
We are called to be people of God, to praise and worship him. Its not ALL about membership. Although I have to admit, I like the idea of making promises to God, and endeavouring to live your life in that way. Its just that...wearing a certain outfit doesn't make you a better person, it can just change the outward appearance.

The thing is, on the whole I am not against uniform in anyway (surprising after the massive rant i know..) I just don't want it to be something we abuse, or use to gain power or to put someone else down. Or a way of controlling people, or trying to change people's personalities. We don't have to 'fit in' with the 'norm' to be the people of God. He want us to maintain our individuality and use that diverse aspect of ourselves as his people to spread the gospel, and invite others to share in the joy of being one of his followers. I think making a committment to senior soldiership is important, and can be an amazing decision for an individual...we just need to be careful about how we say and do certain things.
The Salvation Army's uniform could and CAN be a powerful tool...if we would only use it in the right way.

So there we go...rant over. Feel free to disagree (I probably will at some point...I'm always adapting my ideas) and let me know what you think!

Incense and all that Jazz...

Well tonight, I went to my first ever High Anglican Mass, at St.Martins in Roath. Its a very High Anglican Church, and apparently is more Catholic than most Catholic Churches. Exciting eh?! I've been to Mass before...but this was very very different. It was the Annunciation of the Lord...exactly 9 months before the birth of Jesus...so apparently its the day that God made Mary pregnant. (Obviously not literally...I know that, just can't think of another way to say it.)

For a start, I had never thought about the day Jesus was placed in Mary's womb, and never before have I been in anything that was so centred on Mary. It was very surreal. As soon as I walked in I thought it was a little strange. I kind of liked the incense..and the stillness. It felt quite reverent, and in that way I liked it. One of the things I find off-putting at Army, is that sometimes I think we chat too much before the meeting starts, and don't get into a place of stillness and peace before beginning certain acts of worship. It's not always possible, but sometimes I think it would be an amazing way to start worship.

In some ways, a lot of the Mass seemed quite robotic. People repeating things because thats the "done thing". But in other ways, it was nice. The fact that their Doctrine is so well-known by the congregation was lovely, and seeing people kneel in prayer was pretty cool.

I'm not quite sure how I feel about the idea of Communion. In some senses, tonight affirmed for me that I don't think its completely necessary. It kinda seemed surplus to requirements if that makes sense? As a physical act, its not something I feel we need to do. But the representation of what its supposed to mean spiritually is something we need to be doing regularly. In some ways every meal we eat should be representative of the Eucharist...that's something that I don't feel we really have in the forefront of our minds when we eat.
I think there's such a huge danger in placing too much emphasis on the actual ritual act. Symbols and Rituals that are repeated too repetitively CAN become empty.

It's not that taking Communion is wrong or un-christian, thats definitely not what i'm saying at all. It can be a deeply spiritual experience, that can enrich a person's relationship with God when used with the right mindset.

On the whole I did enjoy it. It was strange, and probably the most Catholic Aglican Church i've ever been in. But mainly the reason I enjoyed it was because it affirmed that I don't need to partake in certain rituals. I don't feel inspired to take communion, suddenly since going to Mass. And, no Gemma I haven't converted :)
But the reverence of the whole thing was inspiring, and the music was pretty lush. I think that the only way to really know what I think, is to try it a few times, so i'll let you know on Sunday...;) I'm hoping my Army hoody will recover from all the incense...if not Jeannie will kill me on Sunday!

Sometimes you just need to open your mouth and let your belly rumble...

Firstly, Youth Chorus tonight was awesome. It's totally amazing to be part of such a spirit-filled group of people. I'm so proud of what we are able to do as a group. And the fact that we are able to feel comfortable with eachother in the fun times as well as the serious stuff is truly amazing.
Tonight also got me thinking....

I've been really challenged in the past week or so by a couple of people, who probably don't know that they've done it. One was a lecturer at uni, and the other was a mate of mine.
Firstly one of my Lecturers made a lighthearted comment about how my passion for my faith and sharing my knowledge was inspirational. It totally shocked me that he felt that way. To start off, I think my insane-ness about certain things can be off-putting, and sometimes i just get way too involved in what I'm saying. But he clearly said that he thought my excitement for Jesus was catching. Scary eh? Now your probably thinking that I'm mental for not just taking the compliment? Yep i know it seems stupid, but i found it really daunting. Like I had something to live up to now. It took me a few days to step back and think...actually yeah I think its supposed to be a positive thing. Bluh I'm so idiotic sometimes.

And then when I was reading my friend's Blog the other day I was really struck by something he said. He was talking about how the small things you can do in people's lives can be really amazing. And how things that may seem trite and obvious to us, can be huge to someone else in their situation. My mate's 'ramble', really challenged me to see the seemingly insignificant things in my life and to try to give them the importance they deserve. To us, our ramblings may seem aimless, but God may have a plan for that ramble, and it could (techincally) change a whole heap of things...even the world!(Luther-King did it!haha)
So there we go, an insight into the moosh of my brain.

Again with the Baptism...

Well...I'm back to my age old chat about Baptism again, and I've discovered someone who, I think, I agree with. Yep...it's Paul. :)

Romans 2:28-9 says "A man is not a Jew if he is only one outwardly, nor is circumcision merely outward and physical. No a man is a Jew if he is one inwardly; and circumcision of the heart, by the spirit, not by the written code. Such a man's praise is not from men, but God."
He talks of being a literal Jew and whether this is important when it comes to Salvation. Being brought into the family of God by this 'circumcision of the heart' is very important. He's trying to stress the idea that anyone is acceptable,no matter what their physical bits and pieces, to God. :)
So what about Baptism? Paul only actually uses the word 3 times in his writings. (Romans 6:3-4) He states that there is a justification for Baptism. It is a means for God to bring people into the experience of Jesus' death and resurrection. It siginifies, for Paul, being taken under and then rising up with Jesus.

But are we Baptising infants or believers? Was Paul Baptising infants or believers?
Because he is addressing the 1st Century Church it is likely that he Baptised converts. Baptism marked the point of conversion, and his metaphors regarding Baptism referred to converts in the first century. It seems that Baptism was seen by him as evangelistic rather than pastoral as it is often seen now. It marked the point of conversion for believers at that time.

I don't think Paul used Baptism as a replacement for Circumcision..He wanted people to come to Christ whatever their background or previous religious experience. Jews, Gentiles, Pagans...all were and are welcome.


So what does this mean for me? Hmmmm well it just feels like the ideas I've been having about Baptism etc have kinda fallen into place. I fully believe that Baptism can be so important, whether physically or spiritually. But i strongly believe that we need to Baptise BELIEVERS, through the working of the Holy Spirit. Dedicating a childs life to God is not Baptism, it is a promise that the parent will aim to lead their child to a life with God. I think choice in the matter of faith is so important. We need to choose to be followers, each in God's time, in his way.

Necessary for Salvation?

I have been thinking a lot about Baptism in the past few weeks, and have probably annoyed everyone going on about it. But some of the arguments regarding it, really get me angry! In most ways, i think the idea of Baptism is lovely, and can be a really blessed experience. But at the same time, I don't agree with the idea that it is an essential part of being a Christian.

In a lecture a few weeks ago, someone said that being physically baptised makes us acceptable to God, and its the only way for us to enter heaven. Suggesting that Baptising infants was a way in which to make them acceptable to society and to God, no matter what their background. The thing is...noone is unable to come to God, regardless of their circumstance or however troubled their past. The idea that the only way to heaven is through physical baptism is not something that I can get my head around. The God that I know and love doesn't ask for such things.
If we think of things in that way, Most of the people in the Salvation Army are unacceptable to God, and no matter what they do (apart from being Baptised)they cannot enter the kingdom of heaven.
WHAT?! In no way would God require such a ritual for our Salvation. Surely Salvation is about our personal relatonship with God and our faith in him? We are saved by God's grace and love alone, not by a ritual act performed by a human being.
Don't get me wrong, it's not that I disagree with Baptism, I just don't feel that it is essential in making us Christians. I think, for some people, the act of Baptism can be an amazing experience that can bring someone closer to God and can enrich their relationship with him. But does that mean that it is the only way for us to get close to God?

It seems clear to me that Baptism is not just a physical act. I have been baptised in the Holy Spirit, and in that way have been made right with God. In this way I don't think God necessarily asks us for any outward symbols of his grace within us. But if that is what inspires us, then he will gladly accept our offering of worship.

'head' worship or 'heart' worship?

Well...over the past week i've been pondering ideas about worship. Like, what is worship? Is it a ritual act or sacrament? Or is it who we are, what we do, how we act?
What's it all about?

I see worship as a lifestyle. As long as we do things for the glory of God and to honour him, then its worship. Every mundane thing we do interests God. I think sometimes i forget that. If your heart is in it, then its beautiful to him.

This morning in a lecture at Uni, one of the BTh students, who is on their way to being an Anglican Minister, suggested that it was inappropriate to expect people to partake in worship that was not the style they were comfortable with. She suggested that, as leaders, we should do some sort of 'market research' to try to work out what people like and dislike and find something that the majority are comfortable with. It just majorly struck me that actually that shouldn't be the reason for worship. It is not about us. The way we worship isn't about how we feel, or what we think of it. Its about God. It's all for his glory.

Another point that was raised was that people shouldn't be expected to sing upbeat songs if they are not in a good mood, or if they are having a hard time. It just got to me that they really firmly believed that worshipping in that way was about how WE feel about it, and what WE like to do, and what WE see as acceptable. It seemed silly to suggest that if we're not in a good mood then we shouldn't be expected to give God glory in our worship. Can you imagine what would have happened if Jesus decided he couldn't be bothered to glorify God, by dying for our sins because he wasn'tin a good mood, or because he didn't feel like it?! Somehow I think we need to re-think that idea, and realise again that no...it isn't about us.

A lot of the time we think that acceptable worship is only what is beautiful. What sounds good, or looks nice or fits into our comfortable idea of what is right. But sometimes the most beauty comes from the unexpected. God loves every sincere worship we offer to him.

Are aestheitcs important to God? NO! But that doesn't mean we should just give him any old rubbish. But at the same time, we shouldn't ever think that the worship we offer to him is not good enough, just because it doesn't seem perfect to us.

Sometimes I find it hard to take part in and act of worship without thinking too much about why i'm doing things a certain way, or about the way I act or the way I look. But if I take a step back, I can see that none of that is important. If my heart is in it, then it can't be wrong.

"I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus"

Are you so heavenly minded that you are of no earthly use?

"You are so heavenly-minded that you are of no earthly use!"
This quote has been quite poignant in the last few weeks. I have discussed it a lot with a few different people, and have so far decided that its pretty spot-on. Even if, at first, it seems a little strange.
Sometimes we strive so much to be heavenly, we forget those around us, and forget to think of their feelings and needs.
The quote goes on to say " Only when you are heavenly minded will you be of any earthly use." which I think is trying to tell us that we need to strike a balance between being in tune with God, and remembering the world which he has placed us in. Because, despite everything, he has put us where we are for a purpose, even if it doesn't always seem clear at the time. He knew what he was doing when he created us.

God placed us here for a reason, with a mission. We are caretakers of his world and the people in it, and that very fact is amazing. We are not mistakes, or the after-effect of a chance decision. Our timing and placement is no accident. But what are we really here for? As a universal gathering of Christians, what is our purpose?
I don't quite know if I clearly have a focus or a grip of what our purpose as a church is. As the Salvation Army, we are called to serve others in love. But do we really do that? Is it out of love, or duty? And is one bound to the other? Can we separate our love for others, from a sense of duty? Doing things just because we feel we should, or because thats what is expected of us. .

Its been playing on my mind that I don't always have time for other people. I think I get so caught up in the busy, working aspect of being part of a church, that I sacrifice other things. I don't always make enough time to listen to people, or to spend time with friends or family. Somehow, I don't think thats what God intends for us. But at the same time, I am selfish with my time. Not making enough time to talk to God. Looking at whether the practical issues in my Christian life are running smoothly rather than thinking about how healthy my spiritual life is in itself.

Its just really gets to me that sometimes, as a christian, I focus on the wrong things. Or sometimes i think that i'm onto a winner and i'm thinking about the right things, but to the detriment of everything else in my life. We can have relationships, and friendships and fun and that doesn't mean we aren't living our lives for God. He wants us to be happy and fulfilled, and to live lives that honour him. That is an amazing aim, to live lives that wholly honour God. And I believe that its achievable. But I don't think God wants us to sacrfice relationships with others to make it happen. He loves us and created us purposefully, and there's a reason he didn't just leave the world with one person on it. But, at the same time I know that doesn't mean we can just do whatever we want, and explain it away by saying that God wouldn't want us to be bored, or on our own! We still need to be aware of the consquences of our actions.
I want my life to be an act of worship, in every single way and that should include my family life, friends, uni...even including the things that don't always seem to be God-focused on the surface. I just think that in some ways I can be so selfish with my time, and my energy. Always inwardly looking at myself and what I need to do, and how to make MY life better for myself and for God. But what about looking to others, and seeing what I can do for them? By no means, will i ever be as selfless as Mother Teresa, or as compassionate as Archbishop Tutu...but there's nothing wrong with giving it a go.

It seems that we need to strike a "healthy balance between living firmly IN this world and living firmly FOR the next world." Simple right?

I'm so aware that I all I ever do is ask questions, and never seem to answer any. Its an affliction, and I'm working on it. :)

Who am I? And Who are you?

"Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth would care to know my name, would care to feel my hurt?"
Sometimes I take it for granted just exactly how amazingly fortunate I am.
I've been contemplating a few things over the past few days. Mainly about the nature of God, and who I see him as, and whether the way i've always thought of God is actually right or not. Maybe I have been too easy on myself, making excuses and using the age old 'God Loves Me' line to explain away everything. As much as this is the essential truth, when everything else is stripped away. Maybe i'm abusing it, and letting that truth outweigh my actions. Explaining my behaviour away by saying 'it's ok, God loves me anyway'. So in that way, i'm challenging myself this week. To not just justify things in that way anymore. To be accountable to myself and to God for the things that I do and say. Its flippin hard work though. And this Purpose Driven Life thing is a lot harder than i first thought it was going to be. I had kind of thought it would be a nice wee bible study thing for Lent, that would encourage me and make me feel good. But its been challenge after challenge. Not that its a bad thing at all, because obviously I needed that challenge. But it feels like everytime i'm picking myself up and dusting myself off, the next days truck comes and smacks me in the face. But on the other hand it's been amazing too. It's prompted conversations with people that I never thought could happen, its opened up ideas that i had never considered. But at the same time its helped me to realise that you don't always have to agree with everything somebody says to find it useful. I don't agree with a heap of the stuff that Mr. Warren says in his book, but that can be an amazing challenge in itself, and i'm thankful for that.

Evil and the God of Love?

In our flat (and various other places) this week, we have been discussing the question of Evil. Whether God created evil, or allows it? It seems such a huge question, and everyone we have spoken to has been massively challenged or overwhelmed by the enormity of it .
Revelation 4:11 says "You are worthy, our Lord and God, to recieve glory and honour and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being."
So I know that, yes, in fact God created ALL things. So evil was also created by him. Something in that doesn't seem to fit. And that raises the issue of theodicy. What kind of God are we believing in? A God of LOVE. One that does everything for us, and gave everything to set us free from the bonds of sin. SO why would a God of Love create evil? Are we too romantic in our idea of God? Do we see it as a story that will obviously end with a hollywood flourish? A fairytale, mushy, lovely God who wouldn't do anything to cause harm?

The truth is, I just don't know. I'm swamped by the enormity of the idea. It challenges my perception of God on a massive scale, and I don't quite know where i'm going with it. In everyway it would seem so much simpler to just say that God allows evil, and to keep our happy little bubble from bursting, but that doesn't seem to sit right with at the moment, and its just not enough for me. Anyway, i'm going to stop blabbing cause if not i'll go on for ages, and end up in the same place. If you have any words of wisdom, or want to talk about it, please let me know. :)

What drives your life?

"Unfortunately, those people who follow the crowd, tend to get lost in it."
Hahahaha I hope for my sake that God sees it like that! :)

Well, what struck me most about the idea of what the driving force of my life is, is that I really wanted to be able to say that it was solely God. But unfortunately, being the imperfect person I am, thats not true. But in some ways I could say that glorifying God is at the root of my life, and is the driving force for the future. In the past my life has been driven by an impossible aim of pleasing other people. It has taken me until now to realise that people will never be satsfied, and will always expect more, even when you have given all you have. Recently I made some decisions about the future,asking God what he wanted me to do. And I got the answer I was dreading. But at the same time it was the answer that gave me the most peace. I have a purpose, a God-given purpose, and as much as its not exactly what I would have had in mind in terms of career prospects, I am amazed everday at how renewed I feel in my relationship with God. Nothing matters more than fulfilling God's plan and desire. And as soon as I can get that sorted, I know that I'll be ok. Not expecting that life is going to be perfect, but that no matter what, I'm under his care. The words from the song 'Still' seem to fit. It says..."Hide me now, under your wings, cover me within your mighty hand. When the ocean's rise and thunders roar, I will soar with you above the storm, Father, you are King over the flood, I will be still, know you are God." Works for me. :)

I am NOT an Accident!!

Today has been challenging. And although I have had my doubts, I am now certain that I was NOT an accident. I was planned and created for God's purpose. He put the two people together, and they made me. As much as they might not have been overjoyed at my impending birth, God was, and he loved me already. He had advance warning of my social ineptitude and my total lack of common sense, but he loved me anyway. So much so that he gave everything for ME, and you and everyone else. Mad isn't it?

"While there are illegitimate parents, there are no illegitimate children." We are God's and he is ours. I just can't get my head around such an amazing God. I think in some ways I was trying to rationalise the idea and think of it in human terms. But its impossible. No human could ever love the way that God does. Unconditionally. Its IMMENSE!

I love that, despite whatever circumstances we were born into or out of, God was there. He knew the purpose. He "custom-made" us.

We are a pivotal part of God's plan.

The Purpose Driven Life...Day One. It All Starts With God.

It’s not about me. The purpose of my life is more than that. Its not about personal fulfilment, happiness or enjoyment. We have to start with God, and work from there. We were born by his purpose and for his purpose. The reason the search for purpose in life has been so fruitless is that we seem to start in the wrong place and focus on ourselves first.

Well, i’ve read the first days reading, and all I can think about is the very first sentence. “It’s not about you.” It actually made me laugh out loud because its so simple really, yet i seem to make it so complicated.
We are born for God’s purpose, not our own. Everything comes from God, so therefore surely all the glory needs to go back to him? Sometimes its like i’ve found exactly where i need to be, and i only ever get that feeling when i stop blocking God out, and let him in to make the changes he needs to. Spiritually i think everyone is on a constant journey, sometimes uphill. But then at other times, life with God is so simple. I love him, and he loves me. So where does all the complication come in? Why can’t i just stay in the place where i simply just believe? I want to. To believe in what He wants for me, and what He knows is best. Simple really. :)

But lets get down to the nitty gritty. Jeremiah 17:7 says “But Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.” So basically we need to simply trust. And that’s it. But not just trust, WHOLE-heartedly trust. Well now, that’s a bit different. I mean its easy to say you trust in something or someone, but how easy is it to say that you totally, completely, 100%, would stake your life on it; trust in something? Not very.
So all I can say is...I’m looking forward to the next 39 days. Discovering whatever God wants to tell me through this experience. And actually i’m really excited.

Don't hold back...?

"You must do it! You cannot hold back. You have enjoyed yourself in Christianity long enough. You have had pleasant feelings, pleasant songs, pleasant meetings, and pleasant prospects. There has been much of human happiness, much clapping of hands and shouting of praises - very much of heaven on earth. Now then, go to God and tell Him you are prepared as much as necessary to turn your back upon it all, and that you are willing to spend the rest of your days struggling in the midst of these perishing multitudes, whatever it may cost you. "William Booth.


I have been pondering on this wee piece of wisdom for a few days now, and the same message keeps coming at me! Am i too comfortable in my life? Am I a cosy Christian, content to saunter along, happily singing and clapping my hands but not really thinking about why I'm doing it?

The simple answer is probably yes. I think sometimes, we mistakenly see Christianity as a club. An exclusive VIP place where only those with queue-jump tickets get in. We treat people differently for heaps of reasons. If we feel they maybe aren't living as 'cleanly' as they should be or they don't speak a certain way or act the way we would like them to. But does that not seem to promote an ideal of exclusivity? What happened to just being yourself, and YOUR best before God? Isaiah 43:1 says "Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I Have summoned you by name; you are mine." God loves us, despite all the rubbish things we do. But that doesn't mean we should go out of our way to be horrible.

Even as Christians we are real people, with flaws, problems, and weaknesses. We are not sinless, and can never be so. God hasn't called a bunch of Lemmings. He called us all by name, individually to do our best for him, to fulfil his will and purpose in a vast array of immensely different ways. I think that one of the most amazing things about being part of a Christian fellowship should and could be that we can support eachother in this struggle to live the way we need to for God.
The wee song i used to sing in Sunday School has been floating around for ages...i think it says "I am me, simply me, just exactly the way God planned me to be.." and I love it. God doesn't ask for perfect people. He asks for our best.

I think that sometimes I get too caught up in the nice-ness of being a Christian, and forget the actual reason that Jesus came. He came to seek and to serve the lost. But who am I serving? Myself? The Army? I really don't always know.
The words of the Switchfoot song 'Instead of a Show' seem to sum it up for me.

"Instead let there be a flood of justice
An endless procession of righteous living
Let there be a flood of justice
Instead of a show.

Your eyes are closed when you're praying
You sing right along with the band
You shine up your shoes for services
There's blood on your hands
You turn your back on the homeless
And the ones that don't fit in with your plans

...If your sins are blood red, quit fooling around
Give love to the ones who can't love at all
Give hope to those who don't have any hope at all
Stand up for the ones who can't stand at all
Instead let there be a flood of justice
Instead of a show."

William Booth wanted us to be passionate about our aims and our work. "You cannot hold back." So why do we?