So...things are kind of getting difficult. I feel very swamped, and don't quite know what to do about it, or what to say!
I finished all my assignments for uni, and the deadline was on Friday. So it's kinda all over now. And i thought i'd be happy and excited, but i'm not. I'm petrified! Am i doing the right thing? Should i be doing a job that doesn't pay, when i've got all this stupid debt? Is it sensible to sign up to something that prohibits exclusive relationships?
All i seem to be doing is questioning myself, and in some ways questioning God.
We had a discipleship day yesterday in the most beautiful place ever, and it gave me some time to think. I sat in the garden with everyone else, and all i could think about was that i'm normally kind of like Peter. I jump into things with both feet normally, and wade through just winging it until i run into problems. But at the moment, i feel less and less like that. I'm cautious, and anxious and questioning, and i really don't like it. So i sat there, and thought and prayed.
I realised that I wasn't placing enough trust in God. I was relying on myself, and obviously i wasn't getting anywhere! So my aim for the next few weeks (apart from trying to pass exams) is to focus on God, and make sure i'm really listening.
Ramble over...for now :)
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I am praying for you my love.... that by focusing on that solid foundation once more that your feet may be steadied and that God may show you where he wants you to go. I truly admire your trust in God and will be praying for you as you continue to keep your eyes focused on God as you follow him and walk on water without drowning! :) Love you lots xxxxx
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